In early 2021, a mutual colleague introduced us, Nic and Sand, to each other. Prior to that, neither of us had any sense of true community with other nonbinary or trans IFS therapists. We had both had experiences of being the only one in IFS spaces and longing for a sense of community. We had also had some parallel experiences, presenting at the IFS conference on alternate years but never crossing paths.

We found flow and alignment in our earliest conversations. In the Fall of 2021, we co-organized a panel discussion titled “IFS and Trans Communities” along with Sundaura Lithman, LICSW, and Lance Hicks, LMSW. The reception to this offering validated how necessary it is for there to be more spaces to hear from trans and/or nonbinary folks about their experiences with the IFS model and ways to use it that are gender affirming. Soon after, with the desire to continue building connections in community, we co-hosted affinity spaces at the 2021 IFS conference for queer and trans IFS clinicians. 

We were inspired and wondered what else might be possible. As gender affirming clinicians who love IFS, we wanted to have other trans competent IFS therapists to refer to. As trans people who have not had access to trans IFS therapists for our own personal therapy work, we wanted to create this possibility for others. Too often, trans and nonbinary people are forced to choose between someone who is affirming with someone who has clinical experience or expertise in a particular modality or area. We wanted to begin to shift this so more people aren’t forced to make this kind of choice. Due to the challenges we had in our IFS training spaces, we wanted to create a safer experience than the ones we had as participants. Lastly, we created this space as a way to increase access for trans and nonbinary therapists who wanted to learn IFS but may have had too many parts with concerns about doing this in white-dominant, ciscentric, and heterocentric environments that have thus far been the norm in IFS training settings.

With the momentum from the workshop and the conference, in January 2022 we started teaching our first cohort of IFS Foundations for Trans, Nonbinary, and Queer Clinicians. We were intentional in creating the space to truly center trans, nonbinary, and queer people, and everyone that takes part holds one or more of these identities. We also aimed to have the breakdown of participants and staff be at least 50% Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC). Creating this kind of affinity space within the IFS community continued to validate the power of healing in community. We witnessed in real time the softening of protectors who had become hardened to the realities of navigating in the world as trans and/or nonbinary people, and this has affirmed what many of us have known for years. It is difficult to let your guard down if the tender places won’t be treated with care.  

We have run this course three times now and continue to hear how differently participants feel in the affinity space being able to bring their whole selves to the training. To watch and feel the difference as guarded parts are able to relax back, knowing they don’t have to be as vigilant about microaggressions, misgendering, and anti-trans bias is truly magical. For many it has been freeing and healing as they - like both of us - had parts that had endured being in learning spaces where they had to minimize, shut down or distract from the parts feeling hurt by microaggressions, judgment, and misunderstanding for being different. To anyone who has parts that wonder if they deserve to be in queer and/or trans affinity space, we invite you to let those parts know: You are enough. You belong.

We feel honored to hold space and facilitate learning within our own queer and trans communities. We also offer workshops to our cis and/or straight allies who want to do better at creating affirming spaces and providing care to queer and trans clients. If you are interested in learning alongside us, we welcome you.